Hacking Christianity

Talking about Death with 5th Graders

As you know, my primary pastoral responsibility now is children/youth ministries. We had a lifelong parishioner pass away last week who is the mother of one of our 5th graders. The 5th grade class is the largest single-age demographic in the church. Since her passing, the 5th graders have been dealing with their grief in different ways and parents have been consulting me for help...most of them were dealing with fear in some form or fashion. In response, our Student Ministries decided to offer a program on life/death issues for the 5th graders this past Sunday.

Here's an outline of the program for your critique. If you are struggling with the same situation, then hopefully this gives a framework to help. If you have expertise in child psychology/theology, then by all means critique! Your comments could help all of us!

Special note: We included a trip to a local cemetery in a respectful manner, which you may or may not want to include. We did 2/3 of the program there to make it as immersive as possible, weather permitting. We also chose a historical graveyard rather than an active one for reasons found on Talk #2, but an active graveyard could work too in consultation with the cemetery staff.

Death/Resurrection Program Outline

12:00-12:10 - Gathering

12:10-12:25 - Lunch

12:25-12:30 - Opening prayer circle, Scripture: 1 Peter 5 "Place all your fears on Jesus because he cares for you always." Talk about what fears we are going to talk about today.

12:30-12:40 - Talk #1: Fear

Student Reading: "Hello, my name is Stephen and I'm in 4th grade. I wonder if death is like being scared. I get scared. I get scared when a car almost hits me. I get scared when I see the bully at school. I get scared when I get a D on a test and have to tell my dad. I get scared when I break something and I just know I'm gonna get into trouble. I get scared of things when I don't know what is going to happen. I get scared when people die. I don't know what happens to them. I asked my dad, I asked my minister, I asked God at night and I don't get any answers. What is death and how can I not be scared of it?"
Reflection

When do you get scared?
Is it OK to be scared sometimes? Sure it is.
One of our friends has died, hasn't she? Is that a scary thing? What are people scared of, do you think?

Activity - Circle Heart

Make a circle tapping your heart.
What happens when you get scared? Does your heart beat really fast?
If you are just walking, heart thumps normally. When you run or play sports, have you ever felt your heart pump faster? When you see that cute girl or boy, what happens? And when you get scared, what happens?
But think about all of us as one beating heart, beat together. When you get older, your heart doesn't beat as well. When you have an accident or a heart attack, entire parts of your heart stop working. And finally, at the end of your life, there's usually just one. And then, none.
So what happens when your heart stops? We're gonna go and find out. We're gonna go visit a cemetery. Anyone here afraid of cemetaries? I used to be, and I probably wouldn't go to one in the middle of the night. But it's a nice day and we're gonna go, ok? Great.
One rule: if someone needs to cry, then cry. No one will make fun of you. If they do, they get sent home. I'm that serious.

12:40-12:45 - Drive to Local Cemetery (we went to a historical Indian Nations cemetery where 99% of the plots were from prior to 1913)

12:45-12:55 - Talk #2: Pain

Student Reading: "Hello! My name is Abigail, and I'm in 5th grade. I wonder if death is like being hurt. Have you ever been hurt before? I have. I have skinned my knees. I have cut my finger. I have broken my arm trying to fly off a swing. And you know what? It really really hurts! But it hurts the most when it happens, right? A skinned knee hurts SO MUCH at first, but then it gets better. A scab hurts but only at first...after a few days I can pick it off, and that's really cool? My skin is different color underneath. Cool! I bet that death hurts a lot because when I heard my grandma died, that hurt a lot. But after a while, it didn't hurt as much. I can talk about it now without crying. So talking about death hurts a lot at first, but then it gets easier. It's like our heart got hurt and it slowly heals."
Reflection

Whose tummy hurt really bad when you heard about ((deceased)). Mine did. I cried and my tummy hurt. I cried and my tummy hurt when my grandpa died 15 years ago. But now I can talk about it without hurting too much, still a little.
We are right now in a cemetery. It was stopped being used in 1913. So these people have been dead a very very long time. They don't hurt anymore. It doesn't hurt anyone that we are here. Everyone that is alive today did not know any of them.

Discussion

Let's look at the first gravestone together. What was their name? What was their age?
Do you think it hurt people when they died? Why? They wrote something here too: (inscription)
This probably hurt a lot when they died. But that was a long time ago and no one is sad about these people dying anymore. This place is a memorial, a memory. It's a safe place. But we can find out some things about them.

12:55-01:10 - Activity - Scavenger Hunt

Emphasize respect, no running, stay in pairs
Handout on cardstock, pens
Who is the youngest person you found? What was their age? name?
Who is the oldest person you found? What was their age? name?

Sketch/Draw your favorite gravestone as best you can.

01:20-01:35 - Talk #3: Hope

Student Reading: I wonder if death is like becoming a dragonfly.

Hello, my name is Ayita, and I am in 6th grade. I have a story for you. Once upon a time, there was a colony of water bugs below the surface of the water. Over time the water bugs realize that occasionally another water bug from their colony clings to the stem of a pond lily. As it climbs up the lily stalk, it disappears and does not return.
The leader of the colony of water bugs gathers his friends together and together they make a promise that whoever climbs up the stalk next must return to tell where they went and why.
It just so happens that the leader is one of the next water bugs to be told to climb up the stalk. Tired from his journey up the stalk he sleeps. But when he wakes up he realizes that his body has changed. He is no longer a water bug but a dragonfly. Wow, and he can fly! How awesome! After flying around and landing to rest on a lily pad he looks below the surface of the water. There he sees his old friends the water bugs and he remembers the promise he made.
The dragonfly darts down attempting to break through the surface of the water, but he does nothing but bounce away. He realizes he can’t return to be with his friends to tell them where he had been. And even if he could return none of his old friends would recognize him in his new body. So he realizes he’ll have to wait until his old friends the water bugs become dragonflies and then they will understand.

Reflection

Who are the water bugs in that story? We are.
Who is the dragonfly? The people who have died.
So do we want to become dragonflies? Why don't we all just die now and get it over with? That's not a good idea. It's not time yet. Can we pick up a tadpole and say "become a frog!" Can we pick up a caterpillar and say "become a butterfly!" No, it's not time yet. And we never know when the time will be. All we know is that we don't get to choose the time.

Lesson

Talk about the Christian Belief that the soul never dies; it is resurrected and transformed to be with God.
We lose our friends for a little while but for an eternity we are with God.

01:35-01:45 - Activity - Letter to grieving 5th grader

Write a letter to 5th grader who lost their mom. What will you remember about his/her mom? What do you want the 5th grader to know?

01:45-01:50 - Drive back to church

01:50-02:00 - Closing prayer circle. Scripture: “Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid…” John 14. Joys/concerns

=====================================

Thoughts? Again, if you think we hit or missed the theological mark, feel free to comment.

Should be in every church...

[Jesus] died to take away your sins. Not your mind.

/ Taken at a United Methodist congregation I visited last week
// It is actually the very first pic taken with my new iPhone
/// Yes, that's me in the mirror. That's me in the spotlight. ~~Losing my religion~~ Waiting for my ordination interview.

"I don't understand"

LOST SPOILERS ALERT

Why is Lost so brilliant? The way it weaves in sneaky cultural references. Case in point: in the Season 6 premiere, we find out that Locke's last thought was "I don't understand."

MAN IN BLACK: Do you wanna know what he was thinking while you, choked the life outta him Benjamin? What the last thought that ran through his head was? "I don't understand". Isn't that just the saddest thing you ever heard? But it's fitting in a way, because when John first came to the island, he was a very sad man. A victim, shouting at the world for being told what he couldn't do, even though they were right. He was weak, and pathetic, and irreparably broken.

Transcript

I was trying to get rid of a headache a few days back and watched an old episode of NCIS. The episode was entitled "Enigma" and it starred Terry O'Quinn (who plays John Locke in Lost) as a Colonel who thought the country was out to get him. He ends up being diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic who repeats over and over...guess what?

RYAN: (WHISPERS) I don’t understand…I don’t understand… I don’t understand… I don’t understand…

Transcript

Two broken people thinking there is a huge conspiracy going on, both of whom utter "I don't understand" as their character's last breath...and both played by the same actor!

Cool, huh? Sneaky LOST.

*UPDATE* I made this my first contribution to the Lostpedia encyclopedia. Check it out under cultural references here.

Evangelism Explained by Star Wars

This post is another attempt to parallel Christian themes with Science Fiction themes for hopefully relevant conversation among nerds.

Star Wars is coming out with another MMO game in the near future...I might need a bib to catch the drool. But more interesting than the actual game is how it deals with the tension between good and evil, Jedi and Sith, particularly in the ways that the Sith critique the Jedi...with some parallels for biblical evangelism methods, believe it or not.

Table of Contents:

Jedi Intellectualism of using the intellect to spread the Gospel
Sith Emotionalism of using emotional means to the Gospel ends
Force Awareness of using attractional power to embody the Gospel

Read on for more!

Evangelism #1 - Jedi Intellectualism

Student v. Teacher

Here's an interview with one of the game's designers, with this great nugget critiquing the Jedi's teaching pedagogy:

"If you give brash young people almost god-like powers and ask them to behave... you're asking for problems. You're dealing with someone in their early twenties, who has never been able to be thwarted by anything, and you tell them not to play with these Sith artifacts—of course they're going to think they can handle it."

Erickson leans forward to make the point. "You're training children to deal with this power, and then demanding them to be incorruptible, and holding them to a standard that we don't even ask from any of our own societies. We looked at these issues and said, 'We could come up with an entire thematic run with this.'"

The Sith critique of the Jedi training has three parts:

Give Jedi Apprentices immense power
Demand Jedi Apprentices be incorruptible
Demand that Jedi Apprentices deny their emotions

When using the bible for evangelism, often we do something similar to the Jedi:

Give students a Bible, which is a source of immense power in argument and lifestyle conversations.
Demand students be incorruptible to doubt and do not let doubt interfere with their biblical evangelism.
Demand students deny emotions that don't help spread the gospel.

This is called Evangelism by Intellectual Assent. In short, we give students a powerful book (the Bible), teach them inerrancy (remove doubt), and have student turn off emotions that are not useful for spreading the Gospel truth (deny emotions). This is "if you died today where would you go" conversations in the hallways, for instance. Then use sheerly intellectual arguments to talk about the Bible whereby it becomes intellectually stupid to not consent to the Gospel truths...DING! Notch on the evangelism belt.

In a way, this is unsustainable given the relentless march of intellectualism and intellectual disproofs of the Gospel, particularly biblical inerrancy. It's fighting a constant battle of out-smarting the others who disprove the biblical parts. It requires a constant apologetic which is hard to sustain (not as far as Gospel integrity, but as far as evangelism methods...I hope you see the distinction).

Evangelism #2 - Sith Emotionalism

The Force Unleashed

Contrast this with the Dark Side pedagogy (from the same interview)

"What the Jedi call the Dark Side, and what came to be known as the Dark Side, these people believed that life should be about emotion. They believed you should be unrestrained, that the galaxy wants us to love and lust and kill and make art and cry and dream..." he trails off. I imagine him sitting on a throne, lightsaber under his right hand. This conversation started as two Star Wars fans chatting about the expanded universe, but now I'm starting to understand the draw of the Sith.

The Sith version of its pedagogy could have three parts too:

Give Sith Apprentices immense power
Demand Sith Apprentices be relentless and unfettered in their expression of that power.
Demand Sith Apprentices embrace their emotions to their fullest extreme.

When using the bible for evangelism, often we do something similar to the Sith:

Give students a Bible, which is a source of immense power in argument and lifestyle conversations.
Demand students use any and all means to spread the Gospel
Demand students embrace emotional ploys in spreading the Gospel.

This is called Evangelism by Emotional Assent. In short, we give students a powerful book (the Bible), teach them that conversion is an end that justifies the means, and have students embrace emotions to overwhelm the other's facilities. This is The Passion by Mel Gibson which relentlessly nails (literally) home the pain Jesus went through to save us. This is aborted fetuses on protest signs eliciting emotional responses. This is Halo tournaments or MMA fight churches that uses guns and violence as lures to teach the Gospel. You can see the problems with this when taken to extremes, yes?

Evangelism #3 - Force Awareness

I sense a great disturbance in the Force...

Since the Star Wars universe is bifurcated into two extremes, we don't have a middle ground example to talk about Evangelism that denies intellectual or emotional extremes, even in the extended universe of the books.

Perhaps then we realize how relevant the Star Wars universe is when you step back from camps and look for shared abilities. A shared ability between Jedi and Sith is Force Awareness, or being able to sense the Force in other people. A strong Force user would be detected by other Force users when in geographic proximity, ie. Vader sensing Kenobi's presence on the Death Star. If you are attuned to it, then you are attracted to it too and seek out what the source is of the Force power. Practically every Star Wars book or movie deals with the attractional power of the Force.

This ability to be attracted to the Force is a shared one in our world too: people are attracted to others who are obviously tapped into the Spirit. Perhaps then our Evangelism ought not be one based on power (emotional or intellectual assent) but on developing the attractional power of the Gospel. Instead of arguing in the street, do acts of mission with one another and cause people to ask "what is up with that guy? Why do those things for other people?"

In doing this, we turn the Star Wars universe on its head: everyone has Force awareness, not just the elite. Everyone has this ability to detect goodness in others, and it is our happy task to make the goodness shine forth. This is called Attractional Evangelism where people are not convinced of the Gospel Truth by intellectual or emotional might, but by seeing the very practical change that could take their life in a direction to which it would not otherwise go.

Perhaps we can stop using our power in growing the Church by force and instead focus on growing ourselves to be beacons of hope to all who seek something new. In a world where the Empire grows by brute force, perhaps the Church can grow instead by walking the streets, working with neighbors, and gathering people who sense their presence and want to sense the call of the Spirit in their own lives.

Thoughts?

iPastor iPhone App [review]

This is a gifted review. As always, while I claim I can be bought, buying me doesn't guarantee you will get gold stars...but hopefully you will get good feedback!

I was gifted a copy of iPastor from the developer of this iPhone application. It's basically a CRM for pastors that allows you to input a person's contact info but then append five areas to their contact info:

Connection: drop-down list of how you know the person (church member, visitor, etc)
Situation: drop-down list of what's up (grief, end of life, decision-making, etc)
Care strategy: drop-down list of how to respond (visit nursing home, card, prayer, etc)
Delegated to: fill in the blank
Notes: fill in the blank.

Then when you are ready to fulfill ministry needs, you can select to view them by category. Say you are on a nursing home run, you scroll to nursing home and the people you say need a visit will show up there. Check them off as you visit. Works exactly as a CRM should.

As you know, I review gifted items as fairly as ones I purchase. So do I like it? I do and it is great to keep things organized, but its Achilles heel is that it requires a tedious amount of text-input. Would it be great to scroll to nursing homes and see everyone? Yes, but I have to input all of them...or hire a 5th grader to input them. Each individual is entered individually, and if I want multiple contacts on one individual I have to enter them multiple times. My test is which is faster or more useful: an iPhone app or a piece of paper. I don't see an advantage yet, but it could be useful if you take the time to input.

Some suggestions:

Connect with the Contacts module in the iPhone so I can simply select individuals or auto-complete individuals or grab most recent individual instead of typing in their info all over again. That would remove 90% of my frustration and be a time-saver.
Allow for custom fields of ministry needs or responses. There's a lot of drop-down lists which makes for an easier program but isn't as customizable as I'd like it to be.

But don't take my review as Gospel. Their website has some video reviews, so check it out and read the reviews on iTunes.

Anyone else have ideas on what would make an effective CRM app for a ministry context? Shout 'em in the comments!

Jesus the 8-bit Video Game

(h/t Exploring Our Matrix)

iPhone for Pastors

You would think that in real life I would be hipster-chic with this blog and working in youth ministries, but if you know me, you know my jeans are not girl jeans (not that there's anything wrong with that) and I don't have anything Apple makes at all.

Well, until now. No, the jeans are still the same, but I did get an iPhone 3G 8gig. And the obsession has already started.

So, to spread this obsession to other pastor-types, here's what free and cheap-o apps I've found to be very useful and why:

YouVersion Bible. Online bible app and you can download specific translations for offline reading (takes a while but worth it). I do increasingly get frustrated with the NCC for not making the NRSV more easily accessible...it's not available here. Free
Evernote. Keeps all your notes available, sermon illustrations, bible studies. It's Evernote and you must have it. Free (paid version allows for offline notebooks)
Air Video: if you show videos in staff meetings or bible studies on your church network, you can stream them from your computer to your iPhone. It's less intrusive than a laptop but also less usable...but the ubiquitous factor with youth is oddly effective, and I can watch Nooma vidz on the iPhone without paying $4 each. Free
GorillaCam: helpful app with the camera on the iPhone that makes it easier to take pictures, like timers and such. Useful for taking pics of altar arrangements or new member photos or storing notes more clearly to Evernote. Free.
Stanza has lots of books and free John Wesley notes/sermons for ease of reading. Free

Quick unlinked apps that work very well:

Wordpress lets me update my future snazzy blog on the fly. Oh, did I say future blog? Whoops.
K-Love or Pandora for Christian music while at work, also NPR for when I want to feel elitist.
Social networking tools like Twitterrific for updating Twitter on the go and Facebook for keeping in touch with my teens.
Gashog ($1) helps me out with calculating the Prius mileage (Shucks, I do have a Prius, that is a +3 hipster point! Augh!)

So what are your favorite apps for people in ministry? No advertisements please, just recommendations!

Hope the list above is helpful and you find new ways to be effective in your context.