Gonna Need a new Graveside Liturgy [funeral.hack]

A guy has a released patent on a "screw-in coffin" that would reduce land use and ensure your burial is unique (h/t Gizmodo).

In other words, the casket would be in a screw-shape and one would be buried standing up.

You could even bury your loved ones in low-lying lands, comfortable that they are not only safe from the elements, but their PEZ dispenser tops would be still-identifiable.

Yeah, if this becomes popular, we're gonna need a new Graveside liturgy that includes "screwturners" rather than pallbearers and perhaps "we turn this wheel to remind ourselves of how much we were screwed in our life, praise be to God" might be appropriate liturgy.

Yes, I'm making fun, and graveyard overcrowding is a serious issue, but I really don't know if I could keep a straight face at this kind of graveside service.



Anonymous,  February 13, 2010 at 7:40 AM  

ha! i have to laugh at the thought of "screwing" my loved one into the ground as well. but in all seriousness, as a pastor's wife, an archaeologist, and a realist (i hope), if your options are to naturally become dust to dust, or be pumped full of chemicals and take up very usable space for eternity, i pick dust to dust...

as for liturgy for "screw" method? i have no idea, but you could include the song, "to everything, turn, turn, turn,..." ;)

Rev. Jeremy Smith February 13, 2010 at 8:41 AM  

"to everything, turn, turn, turn..."

HAHAHAHAHHAHA! That made my day, Anonymous!

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